Ten Rules for Lying Well
by orbythesea
Summary: When she was a little girl, Alicia's mother taught her how to lie. Inspired by 4x18, but it's by no means necessary to have seen that episode to understand this, nor does it contain any explicit spoilers.


_"What would happen if one woman told the truth about her life? The world would split open."_  
_-Muriel Rukeyser_

She learned how to lie when she was a little girl, watching her mother reconstruct the world, turning it into the kind of place where she wanted to live. It wasn't called lying, back then. It was an expression of creativity. Words matter, especially to liars. They create the right narrative, the right frame. Words make lies true and the truth something malleable and subjective. Alicia is capable of remarkable creativity.

**The first rule of lying: it is better to tell a lie than to keep the truth a secret**

There is a difference between a secret and a lie. Secrets cause erosion, decay. Lies build a new reality. This too, she learned from her mother. No. That's not true. She learned about secrets from her father. She learned about secrets from the weariness in his eyes after a bad client meeting, watched the way he got quiet when her mother talked, smiling indulgently but never speaking up. His eyes betrayed him, always, but her mother never looked long enough to notice. Alicia noticed, though, saw the way her mother's words cut him to his very core. They ate him alive, all of his secrets. She always was a Daddy's girl.

**The second rule of lying: choose the right lie to tell**

A lie must be true enough to be believable, false enough to make it unimaginable that it would be a lie at all. The best lies are simple, but not too simple. Vague details lead to skepticism, but too many words can betray the liar's intent. She is better at this than her mother. Her mother likes elaborate stories and can never resist the urge to brag. Alicia has mastered the art of the single word lie. "Yes," "fine," and "good" are among her favorites.

**The third rule of lying: know your motivation**

All lies can be categorized as selfish or selfless. The latter are easier to justify, but Alicia has always found the former to be easier to sell. No one expects a saint to be selfish. The problem with the selfless lie is that no one ever appreciates the liar. No one believes in altruism anymore. Nonetheless, it's important to keep the two categories separate and distinct, if only for your own sanity. Her mother was never good at this, and Alicia isn't sure that she's much better.

**The fourth rule of lying: know your limits**

There are some lies that even the best liars cannot sell, but those limits have nothing to do with the size of the lie or the facts that support or disprove it. The problem isn't the skill of the liar but, rather, her character. Alicia figures this one out on her own, hiding at the top of the stairs and listening to her parents argue. Her mother's character makes everything she says suspect so she gets away with nothing and everything. Alicia spends a lifetime building credibility.

**The fifth rule of lying: know your audience**

You cannot lie to the court. You can spin and argue and bury bad facts, but you cannot lie outright. Everyone else is fair game, but different people require different lies. The people most eager to believe a lie to are the ones who tell the truth. Honest people tell liars what they want to hear, and liars are happy to oblige. These are the lies Alicia struggles with the most, the ones that leave her stomach in knots. They blur the line between lying and manipulating, between survival and attack. She compensates by avoiding the conversations that matter and she tells herself that it's a kindness.

**The sixth rule of lying: make yourself believe it**

Alicia's mother believes every word she says because her story changes constantly, never staying consistent long enough to take hold. For Veronica, the truth is whatever she wants it to be in the moment. Alicia prefers to keep telling the same lies over and over. Back in school, she and Will used to walk along the Mall, reciting elements and policy and legal tests at each other until she felt like they were carved into her skin. Her biggest lies are buried deep inside of her, as ingrained as the Coase theorem and Gray's formulation of the Rule Against Perpetuities.

**The seventh rule of lying: hide your biggest lies in truthful admissions**

Lying, like everything, is about striking the right balance. There are choices to be made, bold lies with wide course corrections or subtle, surgical flicks of the tongue. Veronica takes the former approach, spinning tales that get more and more outrageous until she senses that her audience is fading. When her mother used to tell the truth, it felt like a slap, like whiplash. Alicia does things differently, was trained to do things differently. At Georgetown, she learned that the way you tell a story is the difference between victory and defeat. Now, she lies her present into her past, her pain into the possibility of healing.

**The eighth rule of lying: be indignant**

The best liars convince the world that they have no tolerance for lies. There's a difference between being lied to and lied about, a difference between looking good and being good. Veronica demands the truth from those around her, ridicules them when they fail to provide it. Alicia knows better to expect it, but her tolerance for the lies of others is inversely proportional to the number and size of the lies she tells. The problem with lying is that it leaves the liar exposed and vulnerable, constantly waiting for the other shoe to drop. Lying about a liar hits far, far too close to home. Alicia's indignation is not a lie; it's a slight of hand.

**The ninth rule of lying: lie sparingly**

It was never her lies that got Veronica into trouble. Her lies are big and bold and constant, but they are not reckless. Still, it's the truth that Alicia's mother struggles with. It's the truth that has the real power to wound. Alicia spent decades building a world she believed could withstand even the harshest of truths. Nowadays, she lies more than she used to.

**The tenth rule of lying: lie constantly**

Her anniversary is in June. Her marriage was working, until the world found out it wasn't. She was ready to be a mother. She was as happy to stop working as she is to go back. She doesn't mind late nights. She is not in love with Will. She fell out of love with Peter, for a time. She loves her job. She hates her job. She dislikes surprises. She is in control, a responsible adult. She doesn't have a drinking problem. She doesn't mind being alone, it never makes her uncomfortable in her own skin. She knows who she is. She is a happy person. She is capable of forgiveness. Life is too short to lie.

_Note on Rule Six:_

The Coase theorem is a concept in law and economics which holds that, in a world without transaction costs, bargaining between parties will lead to an efficient allocation of entitlements regardless of the initial allocation.

The Rule Against Perpetuities: "No interest is good unless it must vest, if at all, not later than twenty-one years after the death of some life in being at the creation of the interest."


End file.
